Thursday, June 23, 2011

School Update

Well, I made it through the first week!

It has been pretty difficult and this is just a professional skills class. Next week the tough stuff begins: accounting and operations. But it has been a fun time getting to know classmates and have a couple free meals.

I've found that this program is probably going to be just as hard as people say... So I bought an iPad. I can't really afford it, but I think it will be worth the investment. Some of the options are limited on the mobile version of blogger, but I'm typing on the touch screen keyboard which is amazing in itself. I only make mistakes constantly.

Well, now it's time for another form of procrastination: watching a movie on my iPad for the first time.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Gahhhhh Stress!!!

I'm feeling it! 

School starts tomorrow morning and I'm procrastinating by watching Hancock. One of my profs emailed the syllabus so I have just been waiting on the others to email me... completely forgetting that there's such a thing as Blackboard online where all of our assignments and class info are accessible. 

I need to be up at 7:20 and my internal alarm is at 8am  so this will be an interesting morning. It will throw off my whole day, I know it. I won't be hungry at the right time, but I'll have to eat anyway. I'll still have a wet head when I get to class (and yes, I have tried blow drying my hair, it just gets fluffy and frizzy). And I will soon have homework.

I've actually already started some of it. My class had a reading assignment posted for the first day. And I just realized that there is much more to this reading than I thought at first glance. 

I'm super nervous. I have two zits on the tip of my nose. I'm going to have to wear cover up for the first time in a month. I don't like being uncomfortable. Not at all. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

New Beginnings

Wow, what a cliched title.

But it's true at the moment. I'll be starting the MBA program on Monday. I won't be working during school. I will be living off of savings and plasma donations. Which means I am incredibly stressed out. 

It doesn't occur to me how stressed I am until I start thinking about school and preparing for it. Then everything comes flooding back. 

I'm a couple thousand short of being able to survive the year. I have an amazing family, but I'm still struggling to live independently. 

I will be fine, no matter what. And it bothers me that I'm this worried about money when I have God. I also am annoyed with myself for having another iPad craving. It's pretty ridiculous to want a $700 tablet computer when you're not sure if you'll have gas money in six months. That $700 will get me quite a ways (now that I've found the pun here, I'm gonna say 'pun intended').

It's my materialistic side coming out. And I hate it. I have all these justifications for why I need an iPad, but I've gone through life perfectly fine without it. I will survive. And I'll survive without a bag attached to my bike. 

I'm obsessed with all this extra stuff that is really unnecessary (yes, I work in the Department of Redundancy Department). And I'm just upset with myself. 

So, you get to read about my stupid self and probably are bored senseless by it. Sorry 'bout that.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Mental Floss

Love that magazine. Someday I'm going to have a subscription to it. 

Mostly what I like about it is how they find the strangest stories around. They have information that I never would have thought to seek out. This is the second issue that I've read cover to cover and I am amazed at what they dig up. 

Anyway, recently I found out that I don't handle pain well. I can deal with it for a long time, but once I start explaining it to someone other than a doctor, I get pretty emotional. Not sobbing and screaming emotional, just teary-eyed. And I hate that. I wish I could stoically deal with whatever comes my way. 

When I was in a car accident a couple years ago, I pretty much couldn't stop crying while talking to the police officer. That frustrates me to this day. He was rude to me and all I could do was cry. I couldn't even say something like, 'Hey, I was just in a car accident and I'm freaking out a little. Could you give me a moment?' I just cried and tried to answer his questions. 

And now I'm fine with the pain in my stomach, but I had a moment last night and it reminded me why my roommates are so amazing. 

Well, that's as long as I can stick with a topic, and I don't even know if it's a cohesive story anymore. It made sense when my brain made all the connections, but getting it into writing is another thing altogether. 

Weight loss. No, this will not become a weight loss blog, but it's on my mind. Because I'm in pain I can't do anything really. The longer I'm standing, the more I hurt and the more I sit, the better I feel. So I'm pretty much stuck sitting on the couch today. And I'm really bummed about that. I want to bike and see the ocean. 

But moving around right now is a bad idea. Sometimes I just wish losing weight didn't take any effort. At times I feel like I'm doing so much to work out and eat right but nothing happens. At other times I just ignore all the rules I should be following and feel guilty. It sucks. That's all I've got to say about it. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I'm not a poet. I don't do well with words that are supposed to rhyme, or words that aren't supposed to rhyme but have that undefinable quality that make them poetic. I read an amazing poem by a kid in detention. It's at this blog: Tell Your Story

But I copied and pasted it here as well.  

doesn't mean sleep
sleep is just falling
down a steep hill
through a dark tunnel
to another reality
is your mind in a blank
your body has no motion
not even breath
so I hope to never rest
just to sleep
just to fall into my other realities
and let them fall into mine
let all of me, my other me's
rest at the same moment
and grow into
a willow tree